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Things you buy through our links may earn Vox Media a commission. If you want a strange female-empowerment movie, it tries very hard to be that. From a whipped-cream explosion to the very best possible use of Cheetos, here is a definitive assessment of all of the key dance scenes from Magic Mike XXL. This dance was already a crowd favorite because it featured prominently in the trailer.

Handy and randy. I suppose this was some sort of crucial Brobonding plot moment, but as each guy got up there on stage for his little solo moment, it really just became more and more evident that Channing Tatum is the only one in this movie who can dance. The man showers himself with Cheetos and bottled water, then grinds on a drink case and a convenience-store floor.

As a former NFL player, Strahan knows a thing or two about the proper rubdown techniques, and he put all that knowledge to good use by tossing a woman down on a massage table and working it out. Who knew Michael Strahan could hump things so well!

'Magic Mike XXL' news; Stevie Nicks; Ricky's new single

Not Kelly Ripa! Bonus points because of that body. After watching this dance sequence, it is my professional opinion that tWitch should consider only shirtless professions because his body is incredible, as are his dance moves, as his is the top of his butt which crests the waistband of his baggy denim jeans.

If he dances well, she will grant his wish; if not, he will be condemned to death. He was saved by his ability to hump things well. Matt Bomer sure has a pretty voice. Stripper Elder Tarzan has no dance moves, but he does have an artistic soul. The crew decides to let him age with some dignity in this film.

All points are pity points. Although the glitter painting was quite impressive. One of the characters, Tito, really wants to open a yogurt food truck. Naturally he used his appearance at the Stripper Convention as a chance for cross-promotion. Unfortunately the climax of his Sundae-themed strip tease included licking chocolate syrup off of woman and then spraying them with whipped cream.

Kudos to the film for realizing what a wonderful stripper anthem it would make. Neither have I. Joe Manganiello was really the break-out star of this sequel. Bonus points because I passed out. Thrusting Groins, Unite! The two of them tossed women around like small boats on the ocean; they simulated oral sex; they humped innumerable booties.